Drive-Thru Blues

The summer heat beat down on Joe as he sat in his black Honda Civic. He was just one tiny part of a long procession of cars waiting in the McDonald's drive-thru. In his rearview mirror, Joe could see that the line behind him extended onto the street, snarling traffic all the way back to a stoplight he could barely see in the distance. Loud honking and the screeching of brakes mixed with Joe's crackling country music radio to provide a unique soundtrack for the moment.

The air conditioning had conked out a long time ago. So had the crank to lower the driver's window. Back in high school, the car had been the talk of the town, but the years had not been kind to its dirty and dinged-up interior. As sweat began to pool on Joe's forehead and the smell of dust and old coffee cups rose with the temperature, he gingerly leaned over the center console and reached for the passenger side window crank. As he did so, his foot slipped off ofthe brake pedal and he rolled forward. He swore loudly and snapped back into his carpeted seat, slamming his foot back down in time to avoid rear-ending the person ahead of him. He tried the maneuver several more times, with similar results, until he finally decided that the window should remain closed.

Nearly eleven minutes later, Joe pulled up to the speaker, boiling alive and in a terrible mood. He put the car in park and eased open the driver's door, accidentally knocking over the garbage can next to the menu screen. One more scratch to join the countless others.

"Welcome to McDonald's, can I interest you in an apple pie today?" a female voice sang out.

"No," Joe snapped.

"What can I get for you?"

"Big Mac meal. And I have a coupon." Joe pulled the faded scrap of paper out of his back pocket and read off the code. There was a long pause, and Joe began to wonder if the speaker might have malfunctioned, until the disembodied voice returned, much more somber.

"Unfortunately, that code is expired."

"What?"

"Yes, as of a few months ago. I'm sorry."

"Unbelievable. Do you know how long I've been waiting out here?"

"I'm very sorry."

"No, you're not," Joe growled. "You're useless. And so is this place." His stomach growled. "Fine. I'll pay full price, even though that's unacceptable." He shook his head. "Useless."

"That will be $12, at the first window," the voice quavered.

Joe sat back in the car and sped to the first window, ready to let loose another flurry of insults against the mystery girl and her place of employment. But when he stepped out and stormed up to the window, two terrified eyes stared back at him. She was just a kid, with a shiny red "I'm new, and I'm trying my best!" pin on her uniform. Joe felt his entire face flush with embarrassment. He handed her a $20 bill.

"Hey, uh... I'm sorry. Keep the change."

Before she could say anything, he was back in his car, heading off to the next window to get his food.